When I first learned that I was pregnant, I had been living with my ex-boyfriend and things had taken a turn for the worse. I had distanced myself from my family, made some stupid decisions and ended up in a scary situation. My immediate reaction was denial, I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me. I would have never pictured myself in this situation until I was in it.
My immediate reaction was denial, I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me.
I ended up reaching out to my mom the day after finding out about my pregnancy, asking her to pick me up. When she arrived, I got in the car and said, “Mom, please don’t hate me. I’m pregnant.” She just sat there with a blank look on her face for a minute before saying, “Okay, go grab your things, we’ll get you home. It’s going to be okay, I love you.” After that I was calmer than I expected I would have been, but I was still full of fear and unsure of what my future would look like.
I went home with my mom that day and cut off all contact with my ex. I didn’t end up telling the rest of my family about my pregnancy until I was ready, which was a few months after that. When I told them, they were a little shocked, but all surprisingly supportive.
My mom was definitely my number one support system the entire time I was pregnant. She dropped everything in her life to make sure that I had everything I needed—that I felt supported and loved. I have put her through a lot and she has never shown me anything but unconditional love. My sister has also always been a huge support system for me. Both my mom and sister have felt all of the emotions of this journey with me. We have cried together more times than I can count. They have always been there to give me a hug and tell me that it will all be okay.
Making an Adoption Plan
I always thought if I ever got pregnant, I’d raise my child. Adoption was never something I thought I’d consider. As I spent time really thinking through where I was at financially and mentally during that time, I came to the realization that adoption might be the best plan for my child. That was the most important thing to me–I just wanted her to have the best life possible and adoption seemed like the best way to give her that life. When I learned what an open adoption was, I became a lot more interested in the idea. I would be able to see my daughter grow up and be a part of her life while still knowing that she was in a family with two parents who are prepared to care for a child.
I just wanted her to have the best life possible and adoption seemed like the best way to give her that life.
New Life Adoptions was a huge support system and helped me through the entire process. I could talk through all the emotions I was having (trust me, there were a lot!), and my social worker was always there to talk me through anything and everything. When I first arrived, I was very nervous, but they made me feel safe and heard. We worked through every possible scenario and it made me feel much more confident in my decision. I was even able to talk to a birth mother who had been through a similar journey. She gave me assurance and hope for the future. My social worker was there with me every step of the way, she laughed with me, cried with me and came to the hospital when my daughter was born. I don’t know where I would have been without her. New Life was such a valuable resource and a truly loving, supportive environment. I am truly grateful for everyone at New Life Adoptions. They made me feel safe in a time when life felt very scary and uncertain.
Choosing a Family
Choosing a family was a big task. There were 13 families to choose from and they all had profile books showing pictures of their lives, houses, pets, families, etc. It was tough to narrow it down. I’m glad I had my mom there to help me look through each profile. It was important to me that my daughter’s parents be Christian, kindhearted, loving and willing to bond and become family with my family. We prayed about it a lot and the choice seemed pretty clear. When we met John and Rachel for the first time, my mom and I both felt like it was extremely clear that they were meant to be my daughter’s parents.
When we met John and Rachel for the first time, my mom and I both felt like it was extremely clear that they were meant to be my daughter’s parents.
The most emotional time of my life was when Olivia was born, I had 48 hours with her until we had to go our separate ways. I could have stayed in the hospital holding her forever. It didn’t feel real. It absolutely crushed my heart driving home and having to leave her with her family. It was really scary at first, I knew that these were good people and I could trust them, but part of me was terrified that I was no longer in control. I couldn’t keep her safe anymore. Eventually I realized that I did everything in my power to keep her safe. She’s so happy with her adoptive family and she has a stable home with parents who were ready to raise a child. They are wonderful parents and love her SO much. I am also incredibly lucky to have gained her adoptive family as family of my own. We get together for different activities and have a group chat where we send updates on how things are going in our lives. I am truly grateful for this journey overall, the joys and struggles.
Just being able to see her happy and safe makes me happy.
My relationship with my daughter and her adoptive family is wonderful! We communicate a lot, we have been meeting up about once a month and doing activities with my family and theirs. They have become part of my family and I love spending time with them. They send a lot of pictures, which is so helpful. Just being able to see her happy and safe makes me happy. I’m also so glad I was able to place her with such deserving parents. They have been so understanding and compassionate throughout this experience. This is better than any possible scenario I could have imagined!